It's starting to feel real

There are certain things that happen that just make this pregnancy seem more and more real for us. Friday night we were at Brittany's for supper. I played with all the babies, but I played with Karlei most of all. On the way home, I asked Randy did he realize that this time next year we will have a little boy or girl the same age Karlei is now? He said yes and that's when it really started sinking in that we are having a baby. As this first trimester is coming to a close, it amazes me how fast it has gone by. It seems like just yesterday I was sitting here at my desk waiting on beta results to let me know if I was really pregnant or if this was just my mind and body playing some hateful trick on me. Then there was the anticipation and dread all at the same time for the first ultrasound. That all seems like it just happened and it's been weeks ago! I found out I was pregnant 8 weeks ago today. It doesn't seem like I have known for 8 weeks. Everyone around me keeps telling me to savor these moments because I'll never get them back and I'll regret trying to rush them along...WHATEVER! I wish I could go to sleep now and wake up and it be March and me be in labor. There is not a second that goes by that I don't worry about this pregnancy and the baby I am carrying. I am still so scarred that something will go wrong. I have friends who have had miscarriages and I have one very dear friend that struggled with infertility for 8 years before having her son this year after IVF. They all tell me that this feeling will not go away until the baby is in my arms. The process by which my baby gets here doesn't concern me...I just want him/her here!

Enough of my anxiety for one day-no one comes here to read all that...

I will leave you with a poem I found that really hit home with me once I found it. I hope you enjoy!

Krissy

STATS:
11 weeks 2 days
Back to being sicker than sick!
Next appointment 09/06/07

Child of Mine

Like the warmth of a loving hug,
I feel you everyday.
Tossing and turning about
you move every which way.
At first you were a tiny seed in my womb
that grew more and more each day.
Now your Dad and I are anxious because we know
that you are on your way.
We will wait ever so patiently
to see your loving face,
For we know that it will be filled
with wonderful loving grace.
You are our little miracle
sent to us from up above.
God just knew that we would be
the ones for you to love.
I thank the Lord for giving you to me,
for choosing us as your Mommy and Daddy to be.
I want you to know now loving child of mine,
That I will love you and hold you from now until the end of time.

(c) Evangelina Sandoval All Rights Reserved